Thursday, January 24, 2013

How to spot a (desi) Sexist


So recently, it has come to light just how unaware our Pakistani population is about sexism - men and women both...The ignorance is alarming...Wake the fuck up people. Especially women, don't let this crap go on right under your noses, speak out against it.

Its important that we learn to recognize the signs of sexism & sexists, because these bastards can be pretty tricky.

So here are some seriously serious tips about how to pick one out of a crowd;

1) Male sexists usually have a slightly forked tongue, so look carefully...often the subtle lisp that comes from having such a tongue is what gives them away... They are usually very comfortable in feudal settings, and other areas where the population is under-educated. Its when people are informed, and empowered that you will find this type slinking into the shadows, hurling insults anonymously. They are usually very cowardly, so do not be afraid... all you have to do is stand up to them, do not be put off by the disgusting forked tongue.

2) Female sexists are usually victims of brainwashing and the internalization of self hatred...This has occurred over centuries...they are unaware of their own sexism, but you can usually pick them out of a crowd because there are bubbles, foam and soap suds emerging from their ears...(as a result of the constant brainwashing) - their hearing is obviously impaired from the process, but please do not be dismayed if u try to tell them things and they are unable to comprehend. It will just take a few weeks of ear drainage, and they should soon be able to hear more clearly.

(click to enlarge)

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Ok for realzies now,  if only there were obvious physical indicators like that....it'd be easy to spot them anywhere...but its not that simple in the real world.... so without the forked tongue and bubbles.... we'll need to look a little closer. It's important they be identified though, because they are detrimental to the progress of any society.

There are a few types;

1) The Obvious hater of Womankind: Usually male, but there are plenty of female ones too. Often the result of a lack of modern education - or being 'set in their ways'. This type of sexist is certainly not shy about their views, in fact they're happy to shout this shit from the rooftops. They are proud to say that a woman's place is in the home/kitchen and anything challenging that, is destroying traditional values. They think women should watch how they dress, or they'll be raped. They also believe a woman's main purpose in life is to bear children, continuously. In their eyes, women should always look a certain way, and behave submissively.

'Sexuality is something good, pure women do not express'.

Image from: http://www.collapseboard.com


2) The Part-time hater of Womankind: This type of sexist can actually be quite 'educated' but obviously, a lot of it slipped through the cracks. They are all for liberal, empowered women, unless its someone related to them, or someone that is married to them. Then they get all possessive, caveman style.

They date girls in miniskirts  abroad *gasp*, but they want to come home to a chapati-making modestly dressed virgin that mommy picked out. They think that premarital sex is an option for 'foreign' girls and for men. Local, 'decent' South Asian girls are for the purposes of marriage and bearing children.

They like an empowered woman in the bedroom, as long as its not their wife (double standards are a running theme with them). A lot of these types of male sexists find that their sexism comes out in spurts, depending on the global region they're in. Female part-timers might be all for equality until u hit a particular issue, and then their double standard will kick in. For example, 'Women shouldn't swear' , 'Women shouldn't drink', 'A good wife never refuses her husband in bed' .  Sure, if u hate swearing and drinking, etc all together, that makes sense. But then apply the same restriction both ways please.

Image from: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/vintage%20sexism


3) The 'Progressive' hater of womankind: This is one of the trickiest kinds of sexist to spot. They camouflage themselves well.  They are seemingly open minded about a lot of issues, openly willing to talk about taboo topics in desi-land.....like sex and sexuality, homosexuality, gender equality.

But..... once in a while they will say something that gives them away. For example 'Women tend to like housework' 'I don't think that oral sex has to go both ways' 'some men just don't like to do it, and if their woman is fine with that then there's no issue' Umm, yes there is an issue. If you don't want to go down, don't expect to receive that kind of pleasure either. If ur fine with a one-way oral relationship it only gives away your douchey-ness. Not only is it selfish, but its continuing to apply the submissive role to women in the bedroom. She may say she's ok with this arrangement, only because for decades she has been told that women shouldn't seek pleasure in sex. And having u go down on her feels dirty and shameful. You should work on having an equal loving relationship... not be fine with ignoring one party in the bedroom (Of course there are exceptions, and perhaps she truly feels violated- in any case don't pressure her... just work on building trust and pleasure for both).

This type of sexist will also think its ok to make genuinely sexist jokes (not hipster ironic ones), and laugh at serious issues that women have struggled with for centuries. Do not be fooled by their 'progressive' facade. Its an act, probably to get laid or something. I have personally come across the 'I'm a feminist' guy that uses it only to get attention, and seems not to care about equality for women.
 The female counterparts of this kind of sexist often make excuses for and try to defend such double standards.

4) The Inadvertent Sexist: This type of sexist truly thinks they are against sexism, and all for equality - but then they make truly hurtful sexist jokes, and laugh at truly hurtful sexist things. They make idiotic comments on social media and claim that 'it was only a joke' - so you shouldn't be offended. Both men and women alike. This kind of sexist is just plain ignorant, worthy of pity really, not anger... because they think they have progressed beyond such things... but they just don't have a clue. Sometimes they are young, sometimes just uninformed... in both cases u hope they grow the fuck up.  Sometimes this type just needs to be informed, that this type of 'joke' i not on. The least people can do is call the little shits out for their smartass McSexism.



And for those who are genuinely confused about what offends women...here's a list of some topics you prolly shouldn't delve into, unless you have something intelligent or accurate to say;

-PMS: don't make sweeping statements, jokes or assumptions about women being crazy or irrational during or before their period. Especially when you know nothing about their menstrual schedule. Any woman disagreeing with you or calling you out, is not PMSing - ok? Just grow a pair of balls or ovaries, and learn to take a disagreement without dismissing the persons views entirely. Yes, women can disagree with you without being on their period...end of story. Give them enough respect to accept it for what it is.

Sure you may have a funny tale about your wife, gf or friend getting a little angrier than usual about something.... but the second u apply that to all women, or to random women you know nothing about - you are putting your own idiocy up for display - so don't be surprised if someone has something to say about it.

Image from: http://www.missrepresentation.org/feminism/that-time-of-the-month-an-excuse-for-sexism-all-the-time/

-Gender Roles: If you 'joke' about 'making you a sandwich' you are an asshole (and no im not referring to those who are joking about joking about making a sandwich). If your go to joke is about women and kitchens, you are an asshole. Don't you have the ability to recognize that such 'jokes' are rooted in centuries of female oppression?

If you think women can't drive, or cant watch sports, you are an asshole. If you imply that women talk too much, especially during your sporting events, you're a special kind of scrote. If you think men should be allowed to have more freedom, you're insane (basically much of the Muslim world thinks this).

If you think men should earn more for doing the same thing - you deserve to never get laid.

Image from: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/vintage%20sexism




Image from: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/vintage%20sexism
(click to enlarge)



-Sexual Objectification: Responding to arguments with comments like 'boobs' is not only juvenile, but it shows that you have nothing smart to say, and that you have trouble taking women seriously. Even if you don't have trouble taking them seriously, when you say such things... it makes it seem that you do. Do not infantilize us by calling us 'sweetheart' 'doll' 'babe' - its different when you know someone and care about them and use these as terms of endearment, but when you do it to random women, its offensive. Also do not make jokes about how 'women should please men' - we are not slaves. Sure sexual education is important for everyone, and both genders should be well informed about sexual pleasure. Don't objectify us further by telling us what to do. Pleasing a man is not that complicated, I assure u. Everything is external, fairly simple to figure out how it works. In fact perhaps, men need to learn a thing or two about pleasing women. Oh, and PORN is not where you should learn these things from. Sure I believe (other feminists may disagree) theres not much harm in wanking sometimes to mainstream porn - but do not hold that as your standard. Know that its fake and women do not like to have sex like that, most of us don't anyway. Why no, we don't want your cum sprayed all over our faces all the time....and no we don't like it when you grab our hair and thrust your cock in and out like nobody's business... we too have a gag reflex. And also know that real women don't look like pornstars... So, sure wank to it once in a while, but definitely keep these tips in mind.


Image from: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/vintage%20sexism


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There is a difference between being a sexist at heart and committing the occasional sexist act. Even the very best of us are unable to avoid it always...society is set up to be sexist... to different degrees depending on where u are in the world. Try to be aware of it, and try to do things differently. Thats the only way we'll ever get past it. In the West, we overcame a lot by simply calling it out. The East should do the same.

And please do not make excuses for sexism. It is never ok. But on the flipside its important to not throw the word around casually either. Nothing makes a laughing stock of the cause u care about, like overdoing it ...a la 3rd wave feminists.






Friday, January 18, 2013

Givin' away some mangos...

Hola !

Its been a while since I gave away some doodles.....so I thought I'd do just that, in time to celebrate hitting 1000 followers on twitter. Yeah yeah, i know its not a huge number compared to some of the blogging superstars... but hey considering how many ppl are angry about me being a woman and talking about sex so openly, I'm surprised we've hit this many zeros.

So I may not be a twitter rock star, but hey, I'll take 1000 ;)

Anyhoo....I'm not going to give artwork away to just anyone, it has to be someone who actually reads my ramblings.... and if you do, you wont find these questions too hard.

-So answer any 5

-and email me the answers nicemangosDOTblogATgmailDOTcom.

The first person to send me an email will get a pretty package in the mail.. containing an original signed, Nice Mangos print.

Oh, and u can pick from these;




1) Where does the Author of this blog live currently (City and Country) ? 

2) What is the name/pseudonym I go by?

3) Who does the artwork on my blog? 

4) I recently drew desi versions of 2 fairytales, what were they? 

5) One of my more recent posts was published by Express Tribune Blogs, what was the post about?

6) I once blogged about a Pakistani celebrity - who was it? 

7) I drew an alphabet series, can you name 3 things from there? 

8) I did a post about Pakistani swingers, true or false?

9) I started a petition about..?

10) Whats my twitter handle? 

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Here's a picture from my last art giveaway. This lucky topless winner is from Dubai.... 



this .. could be you next :) I love sending my art out into the world... so please give it a good home - and the only condition is, is that you're going to have to send me a pic of my art in ur hands when u get it! 

Also, be forewarned, the last giveaway ended within 3.5 minutes so act fast! :) 

UPDATE: contest is now closed, thank you to all who participated! It was over within the first 5 mins... and hey whaddaya know, this time the winner is from Canada .. :D 

There will be other giveaways, so do not despair! 

-E 


Attention dear readers!



There will be an art giveaway today, in about an hour... so keep an eye on the blog... all you'll have to do is answer some questions - and walk away with  a free print! :)

-Cheers.


Wednesday, January 9, 2013

He likes his ladies 'older', but that could mean trouble.


I recently got an email from a reader in quite the predicament. I thought it would be best if he heard more opinions, especially from other men… perhaps guys who have been in similar situations. 

Yasir:

I am 22 years old, i live in pakistan.I found about sex when i was 9/10 years old. I always enjoyed watching porn. I made out with many girls but didnt do anything else. My sex life started when i was in college 18 years old. I had been in many relationships with girls in college.Enjoyed good simple sex and foreplay. But when i got in university i encountered my first relationship with an aged women (married). It was new for me but unlike in previous cases i would have to seduce the female for sex i was being seduced by the women. Anyways when i had sex with her it was the best i had ever had. She had total control over me and knew how to handle me, give me pleasure and satisfy her self too. It was just perfect no awkward situations unlike those that would occur with my prior girlfriends many times. After this experience aged women body figure, breast and every other feature took over me. My interest in young women started to die. After my relationship with the first one ended (her husband came back from Dubai). I went after other aged women not any girls anymore (Im talking about from 26-35 years old women,who had kids or were atleast into 2nd year of marriage).  After being in relationship with many other aged women, till just a couple months ago i found out because of me one of the women got in trouble, something bad happened (Not going to tell all that happened) but because of what happened i'm not going to being a relationship with a aged women again just for my lust. And its really hard to find an unmarried/divorced women. Mostly the ones you find are married and have children.

 the problem is that after that i have tried to be in relationship with few girls after that but i havent been able to enjoy sex anymore. I have lost interest in them. I have tried but i dont even try anymore. I have even hired aged prostitutes couple of times (Facepalm ). How am i suppose to get over this ? what can i do to enjoy sex more with a young partner ? I have to get over this or i will end up ... errr.

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We all know that sexuality is generally a risky business in Pakistan, and can sometimes land you in grave danger (when done outside of wedlock), so not only is it unethical to be boinking someone else's partner but it can get you fuckin' killed too! So be careful Yasir. 

I do realize it's hard to come across single 'older' women in Pakistan - and that's because they want to fucking marry all the women off as soon as they reach puberty! Its not worth the risk, and you really don't want to ruin anyone else's life…. If you're engaging in sexual acts with a sex worker - remember to always use condoms. 

Also, sometimes an experienced/confident partner isn't necessarily an older one. Perhaps you'll meet someone you want to grow with. 

But I'm curious to hear what other Pakistani gentlemen have to say about this.. and if they've ever felt something similar. 

(ps. I think older women would prefer the term 'mature women' or something...as opposed to 'aged women' also, umm since when did 26-35 yr olds become 'older women' i suppose to a 22 yr old maybe, but even then i can't imagine there being too much of a difference)

Till next time, folks.